A man is being bashed after his husband routinely cooked dinner for his unemployed friend, garnering a lot of sympathy for his partner given the circumstances.
The viral Reddit post, titled, “AITA for taking the leftovers to work [because] my husband invited his friend over for dinner without telling me,” has been upvoted 8,300 times since it was shared on June 7. Redditor @196017_ shared the post to the subreddit “Am I the A**hole,” and he revealed his husband’s friend is experiencing a tough time. He doesn’t have all the details, but the man is in a “really bad spot.”
“I don’t mind his friend hanging out, but I like to have a heads up so I know before I get home from work if someone is coming over,” the original poster (OP) reasoned. “I plan our meals with two people in mind unless told otherwise. I cook enough so we have dinner and leftovers for lunch the next day so we don’t have to eat out.”
According to a Statista survey, 48 percent of respondents usually had home-cooked meals for lunch, whereas 19 percent ate at quick-service restaurants. In addition, 9 percent ate at full-service restaurants for lunch.
Lately, the OP’s husband’s friend has been at their place frequently, sometimes coming “unannounced and staying for dinner,” and he added that the man is “unemployed, his phone has been cut off, no car, it’s a whole mess.”
The OP told his husband he didn’t mind having the friend over and “feeding him,” but he needed a “heads up” so he knew to make extra food. The Redditor also made a habit to ask his husband if his friend is coming over before leaving for work.
The morning before posting, the OP asked his husband if his friend was coming over as he had to go to the store to get things for dinner. His husband said “he didn’t know.” When the Redditor left work, he called his husband to ask again, and he didn’t answer, so the Redditor got items for dinner and lunch for the two of them.
The OP continued: “[I] got home and started dinner, my husband comes home with [his] friend in too, friend mentions being so hungry and food smells so good. Dude is hard on his luck so I didn’t turn him down and served him food. With what was left, I only had leftovers for one lunch the following day. In the morning I took the leftovers instead of leaving them for my husband, and I told him as I left that I was taking the food.”
But his husband was “pretty frustrated” that the OP had taken the food, and the Redditor told him he asked him in the morning and called him after work and didn’t get an answer, so he didn’t include the friend as a meal guest.
“My husband works by plenty of restaurants, or could’ve thrown together a sandwich before he left,” the OP explained. “Apparently I’m making him feel like his friend isn’t welcome. I feel I’ve done nothing more than make his friend feel welcome, feeding him, letting him sleep over, shower at our place, do laundry etc.”
The Redditor added in a comment that if his husband cooked he “wouldn’t want it,” adding, “He can grill but anything past that and it’s not a fun time. Plus I do enjoy cooking so not a chore, just annoying when There’s suddenly someone there and you don’t have enough food that you had planned for.”
When asked if at other times his husband took the leftovers, the OP said, “Usually yes. I’d just grab ramen noodles or pack a quick lunch.”
Over 500 comments poured in over the viral post, and people are siding with the OP while dragging his husband. One such Redditor, who voted NTA, or not the a**hole for their verdict, thinks the OP’s husband “needs to learn how to communicate and not put everything on you. He’s acting like a child.” Another user agreed, saying the man “needs to use his words.”
A Redditor said the OP’s partner can’t turn it into him making his friend “feel unwelcome because he’s pouting” about how he didn’t get any leftovers.
“F**k that noise, you’ve obviously been quite accommodating,” they pointed out. “Also, regardless if the friend came to dinner or not, if there were only enough leftovers for one lunch, you as the cook should have [the] right of first refusal on them.”
A Redditor thinks the OP’s husband isn’t actually supporting his friend, and the OP is doing the “extra work,” adding, “He is the one getting the ego boost of playing big man to his buddy and treating you like the hired help He needs an attitude adjustment.”
While another user thinks the OP’s partner feels just “like the jerk he is,” insisting, “You’re only asking for a little consideration here, apparently he thinks that’s too much to expect? Maybe he should take over the cooking for a while .”
Another Redditor wondered how the OP’s husband not having a lunch the following day means the OP isn’t “welcoming” to the friend, and they didn’t stop there.
“That’s some prime gaslighting bulls**t,” they said. “Tell him that no warning means that he won’t have lunch, either start communicating or figuring out his own lunch.”
Other comments included things like, “NTA, you don’t run a charity,” “Your husband is walking all over you,” and “NTA, hubby is being inconsiderate.”
A Redditor thinks it’s “perfectly acceptable” for the OP to take the food he cooked. “NTA,” they said. “You’re making enough for two meals each and, in my opinion, your husband inviting this friend over without telling you is giving up his extra meal to his friend.”
Newsweek reached out to Redditor @196017_ for comment.
This isn’t the only viral moment involving relationships. The internet supported a “toxic” wife for saying no to her husband. A woman was backed for telling her family to “beg” her husband “for forgiveness.” In addition, a woman was dragged for demanding her boyfriend break a final promise to a dead friend.